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Thoughts on... I dunno any more, learned helplessness

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05/07/13 | 1214
: stressedstressed
music: Liliedugg - Jesus | Powered by Last.fm

A lot of stuff has happened in the past month or so, but none of it has been the breakthrough I've been hoping will happen without any effort from me. Of course that thought is a mistake.
Still, after this awareness, I'm sitting here in someone else's house after my lease is done and thinking about what I should already have done today. Time's running out here... I want to break the pattern, the pattern of... arrogance, of rejection, self-affirmation with no evidence that I've held to for so many years. I don't want to go home. I mustn't go home. I need to find out how to be alive by myself.

This pep talk brought to you by Royal Earl Grey tea because my housemate is PMSing and presents calm her down. Now I should wash my hair.

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